James Damore, author of the Google Memo, got fired for writing a screed about why he thought gender disparities in tech was due to biology. That's the short version anyway.
The intention of the memo was a response to Google asking employees for feedback based on some diversity training. It was not an attempt to change minds, But if it was, here are my thoughts on how it could have been more impactful.
Don't Bring a Knife to an Identity Politics Fight
As a stated libertarian, Damore's outgroup to persuade is progressives. Their telos is advocacy for victims. So if you're a white, straight, cis gendered man; playing the victim card immediately disqualifies your credibility. So I would leave out the part about being discriminated against by Google, even if it's true.
Validation
Second, he should have spent more time validating the harassment women experience. He did talk about how implicit bias couldn't explain everything. But I think he could have spent more time talking about the harassment and discrimination that exists, before talking about how eliminating it won't be enough to close the gender gap since it is caused by multiple factors, including biology.
Be careful with language
Calling someone "neurotic" and saying one sex has "high levels of neuroticism in the aggregate" are not the same thing. But unless someone is well-versed in the big five personality traits, they are not going to know the difference and will assume you are patronizing them.
Damore should have anticipated this. The one critique I read the most was people accusing Damore of being a misogynist by claiming all women were neurotic. Neuroticism is a scientific term that most people misinterpret. Even if the term and science are valid, it's not useful in terms of persuasion.
Likewise, when he writes about how women are more prone to anxiety, he misses a chance to engage with his outgroup (progressives). Even though his intention was to improve the work environment to be more conducive to women and uses science as the foundation for his belief, he only managed to ostracize progressives.
He could have written "women report higher levels of stress at work. Here is how we can provide a more supportive environment for them." This allows people to draw their own conclusions about the source of the stress and anxiety and actually listen to what Damore has to say. When he attributes the anxiety to women's biology, it's insulting to all those who experience discrimination and harassment that causes their anxiety.
Focus on outcomes we all agree on
Damore makes a good suggestion about offering more part-time work to attract more female employees. But he should have left out his perceived reason for what causes this. Instead of linking to a study about how women seek more work-life balance than men, he should have engaged the reason progressives offer for that disparity.
In addition to more part time work, he could have suggested onsite daycare and longer paid maternal leave so women don't have to choose to stay home.
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