Lessons I hope my children learn

In 2018 I wrote a Jorden Peterson-esque "rules for life" post. I reread and think it is mostly good. But I have more kids since then and now I need a list of things that I hope my children learn, things that I found most helpful as I have navigated through life up until this point.

Beware of your false positive bias. We tend to see patterns that are not there and to attribute human agency and evil intentions to bad outcomes. But randomness is almost always the culprit. Resist the temptation to blame people for misfortunes and accept that bad stuff just happens.

Beware of your hero complex. We want to be well-regarded by our peers and within our community. This can lead us to want to be seen performing virtuous acts, which produces brave heroes. It also produces terrorists.

Favor the tried and true. We feel morally superior to the way things used to be and tend to view history through the present lens, which means our present will be viewed through someone’s future lens. Many current morals and beliefs that we think of as righteous today will shift in the future, so put your trust in those virtues that have withstood the test of time, like kindness, courage, honesty, compassion, temperance, and justice.

Reading a well-respected book written 100 years ago will give you a better understanding of the current world than staying on top of the daily news coverage.

Go golfing with your buddies. It’s not about golf. It’s about 5 uninterrupted hours of socializing, light exercise, sunlight exposure, and being in nature. You will feel recharged.

Learn to play guitar. Or drums. Or saxophone. Or landscape painting. Have some artistic hobby that you can always come back to and work on. Creating art is one of the most beautiful things a human can do, even if it’s just strumming a three-chord progression alone in your bedroom.

Volunteer in a homeless shelter. Envy is the most common human emotion. If you spend too much time around people more successful than you, you will come to feel like a failure. Spending time with people less fortunate than you will remind you how well-off you are.

Treasure the little moments. Life isn’t about the yearly beach vacations, getting a big Christmas bonus, or buying your dream car. It’s about making a baby smile, watching a sunset during an evening walk, the smell of pizza coming from a restaurant’s kitchen, or feeling a cool breeze blow across your face on a summer day. On their deathbed, no one looks back and wishes they had worked more. They think about the little moments.